I'm so ready

I'm finding out more people around me are getting pregnant. It makes me very sad. And frustrated because we don't have the money to do treatments. I live my life in two week increments. Two weeks after CD 1 I ovulate and two weeks after that I wait for my period not to show up--but of course it still does.
I'm ready to get pregnant and share that experience with M and E. I'm ready for the late night feedings, crying, teething and poopy diapers. I still have all of E's baby stuff. I refuse to get rid of anything.
I still really don't understand why God gives babies to crack heads and people who kill their children and infertiles are left out in the wind? People who want babies can't have them but the derelicts of the world are fertile. Oh and the Du.ggars are now having their 19 kid? wtf? Michelle Du.ggar said she can't believe this is happening. Yeah, me either. I know it's not my place to know why things like this happen but I would just like to have an inkling.