This is yucky

I had written a post on my other blog that was about my feelings of infertility and frustration and it upset my friend that just had her baby. I left a message last Tuesday (6/10) and another message (this one had an explanation) this past Wednesday. I also sent an e-card and an email. My Mom thinks she'll never talk to me again.
I feel bad that I upset her. My Mom says she's hormonal and sensitive. I feel in my heart that I didn't do anything bad. Other people read it and I read it to my friends IRL and they all understood how I felt. I really hate when people assume things (what happens when you assume?) and they don't let my explain.
On the other hand do I really want to be friends with someone like this? She knows how long we've been trying so it's not like it was news to her. She wrote something that stung me, "I know that it has been difficult for you" and then she writes, "I didn't know you felt this way (about coming to the hospital)." Um, okay. Do people think feelings of IF are controlled by a light switch or that after awhile feelings go away? It's been 3 1/2 years and it still hurts and stings.
It really bothers me when my voice isn't heard.

Please

Please give love and support to NoSwimmers She has lost both her twins. My heart goes out to her.

I'm pooped

I swam today. It was very hot and humid. The pool water was 88 degrees. I got right in. I forgot how much the sun and swimming take out of you. I can go to bed right now.
We went down to see my Mom today--it's her birthday. I baked a cake for her and got her a hydrangea, a Saint Teresa variety with nice big white blooms.
As I got older I started to enjoy my parent's company more and more (once I stopped being a smarty pants). I know see the wisdom and knowledge they possess. I always had to learn things the hard way.
I feel bad--I wrote a post that was taken the wrong way. I left a message on her voicemail and I'm waiting for her to call back so I can apologize. It had to do with me still not having a baby and having difficulty deciding to go to the hospital to see her and her new baby. I feel horrible.

Show and Tell

This picture was taken because of how silly I think the hair nets are. I'm in dry storage at work. I sent this to my good friend Tracy just to be silly. She told me she laughed so hard soda came out her nose. I have tried to take a picture in a different location at the OG every weekend. But she says this one is still the best.

Need advice

I don't exactly know how or when it happened but I have bad lower back pain. I had made an appointment with my family doctor and he wanted me to have an M.RI done but my insurance would not pay for it. They would only pay for x-rays. I did not have the x-rays done because my back felt fine at the time. Silly me. I did fall twice on my tail bone as a child, I'm wondering if that and being a server for 9 years has anything to do with my pain. I am very careful with my back (I lift things with my legs, etc.). The mornings are the worst. I can't bend over, sitting down hurts and a myriad of other things. I started to do yoga about two weeks ago and it was getting better. The stretching and strengthening of my back and stomach muscles I know is important. I started planting my garden and maybe the digging aggravated it. I just took some pain relievers and rubbed icy hot on my back. I am so mad at my body. I feel like an old person. Anyway I'm wondering if anyone goes to a chiropractor and could offer any advice on choosing one and what to expect. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Embarking on a new journey

I've created this new blog so that I can freely discuss IF. Here's my background: I do have one child from a previous marriage. I am a survivor of domestic violence (that's why I left-that will be a post itself). I met the most wonderful man about two years later and we married Sept. of 2006. I went on bcp soon after we met (insert laugh here). I came off of bcp in Dec of 2005. Did the whole "natural thing" for awhile. No baby. M had an analysis done and it showed only a couple of million swimmers with poor morphology and motility. We did do one iui in Nov of 2007 which was a bust. Now we are regrouping and are planning on an iui in August. I don't know if we are going to use our swimmers or donor. M is open to donors as am I, but I so badly want to have a baby with him. That would be the most wonderful experience to create another human being with someone that you love.

Hello everyone and welcome!!!

Welcome to my new digs. Things will be very informal here. I'm very excited to be here. I will still be keeping up my other blog but this will be a place where I can openly discuss my infertility and thoughts and feelings about such.
Using b.logspot is new to me and it will take me a little bit to get fully set up. Is there anyone that can help me add side buttons? I'm sure I will have more questions ;-)