Neuro and other news

My appointment on Friday with my neurosurgeon went alright. No back surgery. I am going to try pain management, anti inflammatory and muscle relaxers. It is going to be trail and error. I didn't want back surgery so that was good news. I asked him if my back was strong enough to support a pregnancy and he said YES!! So I'm going to call in my scrips tomorrow and schedule an appt with the pain management doc. I'm hopeful that this will work. And the sooner it works the sooner we can move on to i.vf.
I got my placement for student teaching. I will be in the same district where I've done my observations and internship. Unfortunately I will not be with the class I'm in for my internship (which would have been great because I know the students and teacher). But it's about 5 mins from my house and I will be with the same teacher/class for the whole semester. Bloom likes student teachers to have two placements (one in k-3 and the second 4-6 grade) so they can get a feel for the younger and older grades. But this school district did not have enough teachers to provide two placements. Fine by me.
Thanksgiving was great. I hope everyone had a good one as well. M deep fried two turkeys (they were sooooo good) and smoked one. We had sour cream mashed potatoes, homemade cornbread and apple stuffing (I made that), sweet potato casserole (I really enjoy those), homemade Deep Dish Apple pie (I made that too, it was delicious. I can put up the recipe if anyone's interested.) and cranberry sauce. The whole family came over. It was nice to see everyone. The only thing I didn't like was that my mil announced M's cousin's sex of her baby. I did NOT need to hear that. I can understand her wanting to tell her family, but in my house that was tactless. I cried. According to her this cousin tried three months to have a baby and that's considered having feritlity problems. They have no idea what it's like to be infertile.

nervous

I am a Nervous Nelly. I worry alot. It takes me along time to fall asleep because instead of relaxing I think about, well,everything. This week my big focus is on my appointment with the neurosurgeon. What is he going to say about my back? Will I need surgery? If so what kind? What is the recovery time? Will I ever be able to support a pregnancy? (if I can get pregnant) Will my back get worse? And the list goes on. Thanksgiving is a few days away and I will be hosting dinner. I can't wait for it to be over just so I can (hopefully) get my answers.
I have been keeping busy. Yesterday I steam cleaned the carpets in my entire house. Yes, all three floors. I washed all the laundry too. Then M and I watched Weeds. We are rewatching Seasons 1-3. We don't get Show.time and can't wait for Season 4. Just trying to bide our time.
I'm off to Teaching Math class. It's so boring. I wish math weren't so boring.

Music

Music is such an important part in our lives. We celebrate with music, mourn with music, and remember important facts with music. Listening to a song can transport us back in time or make us feel happy or sad. Such a powerful force. I like many different kinds of music. I grew up on The Beatl.es, grew up a little bit more to Depeche Mode and The Cure in high school, also The Mighty Mighty Bosstones and U2.
While working on my unit plan for math I hooked up my headphones to the computer and typed in The Cure on youtube. What a good time!! I enjoy Robert and his melancholy voice. One song in particular transports me back to 1992 when Ellen, Sarah, Sabrina, my Dad (he was our chaperone) spent the whole day in Philly on South Street (our favorite store was Zipperhead) and then went to see The Cure: From the Edge of the Deep Green Sea. It was such an amazing experience! I sang and danced my heart out.
My birthday present this year from Chachi was to go see The Cure again in Philly. I was impressed that after so many years they still had it. Robert and the boys still had it! They really enjoyed themselves on the stage and did multiple encores.
What music transports you to another time?


The Cure "From the Edge of the Deep Green Sea"

Hope

With every cycle I have hope. I know that we have less than a 3% chance of getting pregnant on our own but I can't help but think "this could be it". Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. Hope is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. To hope is to wish for something with the expectation of the wish being fulfilled, a key condition in unrequited love. I like to think when we will get pregnant not if. Af did show up yesterday. After 3 1/2 years one would think that I wouldn't be surprised. But I was. Because I have hope.

Monday musings

My weekend was pretty good. How was yours? I had off from the og Friday night (always yay! for that), Saturday night at the bar was crazy busy but very profitable and Sunday I had off to go to a baby shower (yucko). It was for a girl I work with. This is the one who lost her little girl due to anencephaly. I sat with my fellow og mates and caught up with the goings on in their lives. It was nice to see everyone but seeing all that baby stuff and multiple pregnant women was too much. I couldn't wait to come home.
My very talented husband made Rita Kennedy's famous Irish baked potato soup. It's a soup that I used to get at a restaurant in Blooms.burg called Russell's. I won a cookbook and a cooking lesson with the owners (a couple). How cool is that? I'm so glad I have the cookbook because the wife passed away a couple of months ago and right before that they sold the restuarant. That made me very sad because it was my favorite place to eat since I was little.


Rita Kennedy's Famous Irish Baked Potato Soup

2 quarts chicken stock
4 large baked potatoes, diced (leave skins on)
1 quart heavy cream
1 large onion, cleaned and diced
1 tablespoon fresh garlic
1/2 stick unsalted butter
kosher salt and black pepper to taste
8 ounces sour cream
1 pound bacon, cooked and diced
16 ounces cheddar cheese
roux (1/2 melted butter to 1/2 flour)

Saute onion in butter, in saute pan, until transparent. Add garlic to onion and cook for 2 minutes. In large soup pot bring chicken stock and potatoes to a boil. Add onion mixture to soup pot and cook for one minute. Add heavy cream to soup pot and heat, do not boil. Thicken with roux (about 1 1/2 cups).
Ladle soup into bowls, add cheddar cheese, bacon and a dollop of sour cream on top.
Yield 8 servings (It made a huge bowl. I don't know how they figure out their servings. )

We got the invoice for the i.vf. 9200--covers all the procedures, icsi, and embryo freezing. The meds should be around 5k. I so wish that Pa would cover treatments. I know of two companies that pay for some treatments but I do not forsee myself quitting school and my jobs to work for them. Maybe a fairy godmother or a very generous tipper can come into play now.

More about meeting

The re's office called me today. A very nice nurse named Kate spoke with me about what is to happen next. Information about i.vf and cost will be mailed to us. It is after we begin payment that M's special i.vf sperm analysis and a sonohysterogram will be done on me. M is worried that his numbers are going down but I explained to him that as long as he is making some swimmers we should be okay. She asked me when we would like to start and I explained to her about my back. Nov 28 should bring some answers. I'm so ready to go and I hate waiting. But what am I going to do.
I do have other things going on. A unit plan for math, a virtual reality field trip to make for social studies and my p.raxis II are on Nov 15. I'm doing good with my weight. I'm within ten pounds of my goal weight for ww. Physical therapy is alright. I do a pool workout when I go and finish up with ultrasound, electric shock and a massage. It's not making the spasms go away. Sometimes my back feels so weak. The pt is supposed to make my back muscles stronger with the stretching and exercises but it's not really helping.
I stayed up to watch the election results. I am very tired today. The dogs and I all took a nap in the basement. Mine was about 15 mins. I can't wait to go to bed tonight!

Today is a special day!! now with update

It is my birthday!! I'm so excited because it's my special day! I worked this morning and I voted. Now I'm here at home. I'm going to have some lunch and relax. Then it's our appt. with the re. Hopefully we'll have a plan to go with when we leave. I'll post an update later.
Me and Chachi at Balloon Festival

Update:
The meeting went as expected. The re was very nice and warm. I really liked talking with her. They do want a special kind of analysis done on our swimmers, some kind of i.vf analysis. She asked if we knew we were headed in the way of i.vf and we said yes. She gave us the run down on what i.vf is and how we get to that point. A refresher for me but I'm glad she explained it to M. Based on the new analysis we will know if i.csi is needed. She gave us a 40% success rate with regular i.vf and 60% success rate with i.csi. Now I have more waiting--my nov 28 appt with my neurosurgeon. I have to find out how my back is-- specifically do I need surgery and can my back handle a pregnancy. More waiting. But like my husband said--you need a good foundation before we can tackle a pregnancy. I pray to God that we figure out what to do with my back and get it to where it should be.
We went out to dinner at one of my favorite Ch.inese restaurants where we ate cruncy noodles w/duck sauce, shrimp tempura, sweet and sour shrimp. I drank tea until I floated out of the restaurant. I was born in the year of the Rabbit. I married a Boar--which is said to be my perfect match. My Mom is a Rabbit who also married a Boar. This year they are celebrating 39 years of marriage. I think that's pretty amazing!