Let's mix things up

I made some changes to my blog. I thought it was time for a change. I liked the black--it made pictures pop but I want to lighten things up a bit. I would love to have one of those cookies in the title header--yum!

Today's special

A good friend of mine came up yesterday for a visit. We were talking about people we graduated with and she showed me some of their pictures on f.acebook. I'm not on that or m.yspace. I have my blog and that's good enough for me. It was nice to see pictures of my classmates, especially those I went to kindergarten with. It's different to see some with children. I don't know why. Not that I thought they would make bad parents--just different I guess. I still can't believe that I have E (she turned 6 on 7/22). I don't feel old enough to have a six year old.
It bothered me with the way I've changed. I am once again out of shape and could stand to lose a few pounds. I do wish I could be consistent with my weight loss and exercise. I did 50 minutes of tae bo today courtesy of you.tube. I started eating salad with spinach and romaine lettuce. Little changes. They say if you do something everyday for 26 days it becomes a habit. I can vouch for that because I did that with flossing. So I started tracking my diet via weigh.t watchers on line and have signed the b.ob green'es total body makeover contract (again). I fell off the wagon with that when I had my lap done.
I go today for my post lap check up. I will update you later.

Musings

If you would have asked me at the start of my journey for a second child if I thought I would be still trying for another baby fours years later I would have answered no.
I will be 34 in November. One more year until I'm 35. That's the age when your egg quality decreases. I feel like I'm playing beat the clock, but not with my best ability because all fertility treatments in Pa are out of pocket. I.vf is put off to the side until I get a teaching job. How long do you try for? When do you start to explore other options? I know we each have our own breaking point. I get frustrated because I know what I want. And there is no way of knowing whether my dream will come true for one more baby.

My belly is getting better. It is now slightly sore. I slept better last night (I'm a side sleeper and I couldn't sleep on my side because doing so would pull my stitches).

So proud

Here is our girl Mel giving her first book reading.

Reading & Discussion of "Navigating the Land of IF" by Melissa Ford from StirrupQueens on Vimeo.

Being an infertile comes with a lot of questions and I think Mel does an excellent job of helping us out. Please click here for another video of Mel.

Doing ok

My surgery went alright. There was endometriosis on by bladder and two polyps--a piece was taken for biopsy. I see my gyno on July 24 for a follow up. I have questions of course about the endo and polyps--how does this affect me getting pregnant, will it come back again, where were the polyps, etc.
I am feeling a little better today. I slept on Wednesday and yesterday. I forgot how much it takes out of you. I keep comparing this surgery to my gallbladder but I shouldn't because I stayed in the hospital for that.
I encountered something new: B.air Paws inflatable gowns. They attach a hose to your gown and you control the temperature. I was warm and toasty!! Keeping you warm before surgery is supposed to help reduce infections.
We got home around 7 pm or so. I couldn't figure out why it took us so long to get home. I remember being in recovery at 4 pm. When they wheeled me back to my pre-op room where M was the nurse told me to rest and I took an hour long nap! M said you could really mess with someone when they're medicated. I agree.

Me in my inflatable gown.

L Day

Today is my surgery. It will be at 2:30 p. m. M asked if I'm nervous. A little. I know I will be very nervous right before I go in. That's how I was with my gall bladder surgery.
It's very important to me to get pregnant on so many levels. With E I was abused and after I left I was dealing with the divorce and seeing a therapist ( I have been meaning to write about that. I'm getting up the gumption). It should have been the best time of my life to be pregnant with my first child and I was robbed of that. I want to have a child with M. I believe it would be one of the best experiences to create life with the person you love.
I am holding on to hope that today will go okay.

Prep Work - Part 2

I drank all 10 oz of magnesium citrate. Eh gad--that stuff is nasty! It tastes like really sour lemon soda. I have to laugh. My orders for today are to eat and drink clear fluids/food. But it all goes right through you so why eat anyway? Ironically I did eat wild strawberry j.ello and vanilla tea (no milk of course).
The hospital called to confirm the surgery for tomorrow and to give me a rundown of things I will be continuing to do. All I want to do is eat food you can't see through.